According to Gottman, couples are more prepared to cope with stressful events and conflict when they have detailed love maps of their partner’s world. By keeping up to date with what your partner is thinking and feeling, you are less likely to be thrown off when stress inevitably comes along in the relationship. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, learning about your partner is a continuous process. Here are a few ways to build your love map with your partner:
Play 20 questions with your partner
Ask open-ended questions to dig deeper into your partner’s inner world
Learn more about your own inner world
Check in weekly with your partner
Next week, I will be talking about Gottman’s second principle, Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration.
Resources: PhD, G. J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost