posted by Stephanie Phillips, M.Ed., LPC
What did I mean?
Words alone are not all we communicate when we talk. It can be frustrating to get someone to understand us; especially when we think we are being very clear. It is important that we communicate accurately to get what we really want.
Dealing with Parents: Use the 3 T’s:
When something is important to us, we often feel it is important to everyone and needs to be dealt with immediately. Taking a moment to figure out the best TIME to talk can reduce feeling ignored. Scheduling a time when everyone’s undivided time can be devoted to the subject will reduce interruption and frustration. Choosing what you TALK about can help in making sure you do not blame or hurt someone’s feelings which could backfire on getting what you want. Stick to the TOPIC. Rehashing sore subjects or failing to get to the point of your conversation can cause a delay in getting what you want and start arguments that leave you feeling frustrated.
When we are passionate about something we can get highly emotional very quickly. Sometimes this results in conflict. Taking a step back to assess what caused the conflict, who is involved, what happened, when it started and why it occurred can help with understanding and possibly prevent future occurrences. This can be tough, especially when we realize we may be part of the problem.
Ever wonder why we get upset when someone rolls their eyes, clenches their fist or crosses their arms when talking to us? These are just physical movements right? Or do we interpret something based on what we are “seeing” about the conversation? Make sure your body language matches what you are saying ….make sure you are reading others correctly……try using words to clarify if you are reading the situation accurately. A yawn may not mean they are bored with you…it may just mean they are tired and need to take in a bit more oxygen.
Coming up next week…….Friendships & Relationships
Mental Wellness Clinician & Co-Owner
The Mindly Group, PLLC Raleigh, NC